Xpressions Against Oppression: Judy Shepard

Matthew Shepard (1976-1998)

Yesterday evening I went to York University to listen to Judy Shepard (the mother of Matthew Shepard) give a talk.

In October 1998, at the age of 21 Matthew was tortured and murdered in Laramie, Wyoming because he was gay.

Matthew was murdered for being gay.

He was murdered because of pure hatred.

Matthew's murder brought world-wide attention to the issue of hate crime legislation.

His murder also instilled much fear into the gay community and caused a lot of people to hide deeper in the closet.

Matthew's story has pierced many hearts and changed many lives.

After his murder, his parents Judy and Dennis co-founded the Matthew Shepard Foundation and became strong advocates for LGBTQ rights.

When I heard that Judy would be coming to York U to speak, nothing was going to stop me from being there.

She started her talk by reading her victim impact statement from the trial.

Tears and emotion overwhelmed the room.

In front of us all was this beautiful human being...this beautiful mother...with all her words and struggles...with all her energy and strength...full of compassion and love.

She told us about Matthew, about his coming-out, about their family, and the pain they have all been through. She also spoke about the Matthew Shepard Foundation, human rights, and America's struggle to catch up.

"Educate, educate, educate...we need to educate one another"

What really hit home was when Judy spoke about the need to educate people in every situation we enter. The need to always be true and honest to ourselves...to not hide and to not be shameful.

This of course made me think of my research. People often ask me what my PhD is all about...I've noticed that when I say "youth homelessness" I get smiles and words of encouragement, but when I say "LGBTQ youth homelessness and the lack of support available" I get silence, maybe a little smile, and when I add "homophobia, transphobia and hate" in there, I get absolutely nothing. Sometimes it's easier to go with the first scenario, but by doing so I'm not being honest and I'm certainly not educating. I believe that no matter how hard the reaction, how ignorant your audience, in being honest every single time with a motive to educate...we will achieve this.

She spoke about making things personal every single time in order to educate people.

"We need to make it personal...the personal gets through to people...

people understand the personal"

Judy also spoke about families and how we are not always born into the family that we belong to, but that there is a family out there for everyone...these words really brought tears...as I looked around I could not believe the amount of people crying...the amount of families broken.

Broken families because of an incapacity to understand the human heart.

Throughout the evening I kept thinking that the world should hear her words, her honesty, and compassion. What a difference it might make if people listened to Judy's message.

I am thankful for having heard Judy speak, as I'm sure everyone was; this was evident by the standing ovation she got from the audience both as she entered and exited the stage.

May we never stop this fight for social justice and equality.

May we never lose hope.

May we always be honest and true to who we are...and may hate crimes end.

Thank you Judy for your words...for keeping on...and for fighting this fight.

Peace,

-Ilona

Knowing

"The value of the answers will come from the goodness of the questions"

Spent some time with this city and these thoughts.

Finding questions with value.

People with answers.

Reading in between every line these days.

Starting with something as basic and complicated as a map.

Mapping out the next four years.

A document with impact.

Research with voice.

The flavor is in the phenomenon.

And these things take time.

Learning language and clarity.

Definition and data.

Goodness and repetition.

All in the voice...

Week 2-the beginning

A new project is bursting at the seams...

I've been thinking about this for the past year.

Preparing, thinking, putting it all together...

and now this heart is exploding with passion.

I will expand on "Where is the Support?" and the focus will be driven by a critical analysis of the shelter system in Toronto.

Exploring the issues of discrimination, violence, homophobia and transphobia...I will do an in-depth investigation of the "discrimination policies" and "anti-discrimination training" of organizations offering "support" to youth who are homeless.

The voices of LGBTQ youth who are homeless will speak loudly and will be heard throughout the nation.

Arts will be used to inform the work and the public.

Most importantly...LGBTQ youth who are homeless will inform the public.

It is my hope that the knowledge gained will be used to develop a necessary plan of action that will help to improve the shelter system and support services so that there is in turn support available.

So we no longer have to ask "Where is the support?"

I will use this space as a way of recording the process and sharing the progress.

I will use this as a tool for knowledge translation,

with the hope to engage in a dialogue about this work with the public.

A new project birthed from an old project...a never ending project...

and this is just the beginning.

heard.

Always searching for ways to spread awareness. Ways to get people to not only listen, but really hear what this is all about. A wonderful social justice reporter from the Toronto Star listened carefully...

Please read this important article: http://www.thestar.com/living/article/682938

And now we must ask ourselves why we aren't taking care of our youth.

In this place of all places.

In this rich country - Canada.

This rich city - Toronto.

Sweet sweet Toronto.

The city that thousands and thousands of people travel to.

Tour buses stroll along the streets.

People giving speeches about all the beautiful things we have to offer here.

Yet, we aren't taking care of our youth.

This really is a problem.

We need to raise awareness. We need to write letters to the city.

We need to speak loudly about this...as loud as we can...until this is resolved.

And what about the parents of these youth?

What about the laws around child abuse?

Since when is it ok to throw your children to the streets for being courageous enough to be who they are.

Why does honesty breed hate?

Maybe it's time we really start thinking about this...

Podcast-Where is the Support?

I have started a podcast called "where is the support?"

Every few weeks, I will be interviewing various support services, researchers, academics, and people with stories to tell about homelessness.

With this podcast I hope to share and discover knowledge regarding the issues of youth homelessness.

The first podcast is an interview with the executive director at the Ali Forney Center and is available on my website.

You can listen or subscribe to my podcast on my website: www.ilona6.com, under the "news" section.

Thank you for listening..

Hope in the city...of New York

Took a trip to New York the other week.

New York in May is always my favorite.

Right before the summer rush. Before the heat hits the city.

Went over to the Ali Forney Center and met with the executive director.

He answered a lot of my questions and provided a lot of really informative insight into the shelter system and the issues that LGBTQ homeless youth face.

The Ali Forney Center is named after a young man named Ali Forney who was queer and homeless.  

Ali was murdered on the streets of New York

In the late 90's  numerous youth who were queer and homeless were murdered on the streets of New York.

In honor of Ali and in hopes of letting his legacy live; the Ali Forney Center came to be.

It was a beautiful sunny Friday afternoon when I went there...

a peaceful place with bright yellow and blue walls.

I waited in the front lobby area and chatted with a friendly volunteer and a youth who had never met a Canadian before!

Sitting in that chair, chatting, looking through various pamphlets that were there to offer support and guidance for youth who had just come out and for families of youth who had just come out...I felt quite emotional.

What a place this was. What a beautiful place this was.

I had found the place that offers the "support" I had been searching for in Toronto.

Here it was...in New York City...

I will be starting a podcast on youth homelessness.

For more information on my visit to the Ali Forney Center stay tuned for my first podcast to be posted in the near future...

spring.

the sky is lifting.

with flowers.

and sun.

trees all around.

and dreams like spring.

dreams like spring lift me from sleep.

a new expression.

or frame.

these thoughts are framed on the walls of my mind.

on display. in my mind.

a path that leads to an opening with no end.

i am not ending.

and this is never ending.

a film with exposure.

and words that explode out of my chest.

true beauty in the sixth.

soon the leaves will grow and gather.

green like shelter.

and on the subway. from the window.

i wonder how many people notice

these homes that have been built by the dirty river.

i wonder how many people notice.

and some mornings on the subway

in the quiet

as we ride across the bridge

i want to scream "wake up everyone and look where people are living"

i want to shake the subway

and wake these walls that cover

the exposure.

or something along those lines.

along those lines.

i am lifted.

without

end.