Thursday, September 25, 2008


the night was mixed with dreams.
streets and liquid.
fast paced.
and i woke up.
with power launching out.
of my heart. or chest plate.

an opportunity. with growth.
and connections.

my life. 
is here.

and there's a research project.
for my mind.

leaving to the woods for 4 days.
and i woke up 
aligned. again.

this is..

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


we did find home. or something like it.
and last night. with the fullness of the moon.
i broke-down.

i miss school so much.
the university environment.
the unlearning. relearning. learning.
reading. writing.
an interview and a half.
and a PhD program...
i could do this.
i could.

my passion is overwhelming.

a door has opened.

we found a house.
i know home.
the moon is full.
and there's something i need.
to do. with this. feeling.

Thursday, September 11, 2008


a writing exercise.
a written exercise.
or something that might be taken along.
and later remembered. in the years. to come.

a familiar face.
or a gesture.
something that makes sense.
or feels like something else once did.

autumn begins.
and everything becomes relative.
relatively complicated.
a truth in memory.
a decade.

and he remembers the sound 
of pen to paper.
a shy girl. a young girl.
he remembers the "irony" in my written work.
or storytelling.
stories told long ago.

and everyday of the week.
i wake up early.
because sleep doesn't come easy in the autumn.

and i am fierce with love.
the book store makes me weak in the knees.
i fall to the ground.
and try to absorb knowledge.

my mind is a corn field.

and i have a deal with detail.
every line eventually bleeds into the next.
but still i notice.

sometimes we rest on the surface.
but home is deep underneath.

and perhaps someday we could sit
with a bottle of wine 
and have a full fledge conversation
about meaning.

or start with
something to talk about.

like 365 days ago..

Thursday, September 4, 2008


the final discussion went well. and the room. was filled.
with energy.
and it was such an honour. for me. to have two brilliant minds. 
two brilliant people. who i truly admire.
listening. and hearing. me. speak this.

the evening. was celebrated. with champagne and chocolate.
flowers and open skies.

and now. my head pounds with a pulse.
a build up or release.

and in the morning. an email.
from Stephen Hwang at the Centre for Research on Inner City Health.
an invitation. to send my resume. to meet and discuss.
and there's this life living inside of me.
and there's this need to keep on keeping it on. all of the time.
focus. relax. breathe.
this is all beautiful.
with no end in sight.
i am thankful.
and i hope.
that you keep reading...

Tuesday, September 2, 2008


a new beginning. all the time.

my neighbor's kids who i babysat every weekend from the age of 12 to 16, 17.

one just turned 16. he just got his drivers liscence. i remember him before he was born.

his brother. moved out this weekend. first year of university.

and the whole thing touched my heart. like almost everything does.

the kids have grown. they are big.

a new beginning.

and today.

i put together some words. to sum it up. or something.

a welcoming for a group of people's new start.

my grandmother can't breathe. she will probably die really soon.

another beginning. or ending. or something.

and tomorrow.

i've been waiting.

for years for this.

it was a start with so many starts.

and now it ends with a beginning.


i am bundles of nerves.

and happiness.

but mostly nerves.

right now.