again.

and what does it mean to "come out". i've been thinking and wondering. and there's this constant sort of negotiation thing that happens, especially when you're young or first "coming out". and it's hard. not easy. the coming out. the process. the words. language. space.

and i spent the entire day yesterday transcribing one interview. i don't know what it was that took me so many hours. i needed time to process the words in my own body. and to listen and re-listen and really hear what he was saying to me. and "we need a gay shelter" "we need a gay shelter" "we really NEED a gay shelter". i woke up with his voice in my head. and these words. and this whole "coming out" thing. and something along the lines of "every place i've lived in, i've had to deal with homophobia". and damn. this city. these people. this h o m o p h o b i a .

these words feel so 7 years ago. but i knew when i started this project that these feelings. memories. all these things would rise up again. 

i don't want this to be so much about me or my experience. but something about yesterday. the words. the words. the words. something in them, awoke something in me. again.